दुई दन्त्यकथा बीच

कसै कसैले ‘हुनु’को विशेषता विचार गर्ने क्षमतासँग गाँस्छन्, कुनै कुनै क्षणमा मलाई त्यो त्यहि त्यसरी गाँस्नसक्ने क्षमतासँग जोडिएको छ भन्ने लाग्छ । त्यो क्षमता सचेत र चिन्तनशील जीवनले मात्र सम्भव तुल्याउँछ । अनि त्यही संभावनासँग ‘बन्नु’को अर्थ पनि गाँसिदै जान्छ । यस्तो सम्बन्ध गाँसिन सक्ने सम्भावनाको सन्दर्भमा ढुङ्गा ‘हुनु’ र मानिस ‘हुनु’मा खासै फरक छैन । कुनै व्याप्त तर अप्रत्यक्ष विश्व संचालकले सबै जड र अजडको समीकरण गरिरहेकै छ । जीवन त आखिर ढुङ्गाकै पनि छ । शिशुको कम जागृत चेतनाले अनुकरण गर्छ, युवाको बढी जागृत चेतनाले निर्णय लिन्छ । प्रत्येक निर्णयले स्वत्व व्युझाउँदै स्वतन्त्रताको मिठास चखाउँछ । तर निर्णय लिने क्रम भने अति नै कठीन हुन्छ किनभने दुईवटा कुन्यौ बीचको गधाले कुन कुन्यौको पराल मिठो होला भन्ने निर्णय लिनु अगाडि नै ज्यापू यमराजले उसलाई खेतैबाट लखेटिदिए पछि उसले न यताको पराल चाख्न पाउँछ न उताको । हामी मध्ये कसै कसैको आत्मकथाको सार संक्षेपमा यही हो । अरू त प्रमाणको आवश्यकता नदेख्ने वा प्रमाणविना केही नस्वीकार्ने दुई बेग्लाबेग्लै विश्वासका कुन्यौका वादी र प्रतिवादी बनेर आ–आफ्ना पक्षका सफल वकालती गर्न सक्षम छन् – कट्टरतापूर्वक वा विनम्रतापूर्वक ।

अन्नकोषभन्दा माथि उठ्ने क्षमता भएका प्राणी परालको कुन्यौ बीच जस्तै परापूर्वकालदेखि एकले अर्कोलाई विभिन्न पाराले हाल्दै आएका दुईवटा दन्त्यकथा बीच रुमल्लिएका हुन्छन् । दन्त्यकथा नै किन नहोस्, त्यो जीवनसँग गाँसिएकै हुन्छ नै । इतिहासकारको औपन्यासिक उत्प्रेक्षा र कविको काल्पनिक यथार्थ बीच जति दूरी देखिए तापनि दुवैमा तथ्यभन्दा वनावटी बुट्टाप्रतिको आकर्षण समान छ । यौटाले तथ्यको धाक दिंदै दृष्टिकोणको फूलजडी बिर्सिन्छ, अर्कोले कल्पनाको बुरुसले यथार्थका रेसामा रङ्ग भर्दै छ भन्ने कुरा भुल्छ । मापदण्डका सूक्ष्म अन्तरमा छड्केको भ्रम र यथार्थको खिचडी हरेक आत्मालाई चखाउँदै सांस्कृतिक मानिस हिंड्दै छ त्यस विजयपथमा जहाँ हिंड्न् पाउनु नै उसका लागि स्वतन्त्रता बोधको वर्तमान बनेको हुन्छ ।

यिनै क्रममा वेद, पुराण, महाभारत र रामायणहरू जस्ता आर्ष तेजका झिल्काहरू जन्मिए । कुनै पनि मानव–समूहका धर्मग्रन्थले झैं यिनीहरूले पनि ‘हुनु’का उद्देश्य र लक्ष त्यसको आदिम कारणको साथै व्याख्या र वयान गर्दै गए । यी व्याख्या र वयान कसैको अन्तस्करणले टिपेको सत्य थियो जसको प्रभावमा हजारौं वर्षसम्म पनि मानिसहरू यौटा सपना देख्दै छन् – आत्मा, परमात्मा, स्वर्ग, नरक, धर्म र मनुष्यत्वको । यस्तो सपना नदेख्न यसैले छुट पनि दिएको छ, स्वतन्त्र छाडिदिएको छ । त्यसैले यी सारा दन्त्यकथा हुन् भनेर यथार्थको खोजमा अन्यत्र लाग्नेहरूले आर्कै विश्व पाएका छन् जसमा इन्द्रियमा जँचेको यथार्थ र तथ्यका आधारमा निर्मित चमत्कारीला प्रविधि र यन्त्रहरूले मानिसको ठोस भौतिक सुविधा र सुखसामग्रीमा विविधता र परिष्कार ल्याएका छन् । सरल यथार्थवादी व्यक्तिहरू बहुसंख्यक भएको वास्तविकतामा धर्मको भन्दा विज्ञानको महिमा ताजा र तात्कालीक हुन्छ, उपलब्धि ठोस हुन्छ, उपयोगिता स्पष्ट हुन्छ । प्रोटोन र प्रार्थनाको अन्तर यहीँ प्रष्टिएको हुन्छ । विगतका उपलब्धि र तिनका उत्पादन प्रक्रियाका आधारमा विज्ञान उपर विश्वास सजिलै बस्छ । यसको संभावना अनन्त देखिन्छ र भौतिक जगत्का नियमविरोधी कुरा बाहेक सबै अनाविष्कृत कुरा भविष्यमा सम्भवत पैदा हुन सक्ने वस्तुको रूपमा हाम्रा विश्वस्त मस्तिष्कमा अंकित हुन्छन् । हामी शायद मेरी पपिन्सको जस्तो उडने साइकल कल्पना गथ्र्यौं, बेलायती जन फोडन र यानीक रीडले साइकल उडाएर देखाइदिए । हामी क्वान्टम कम्प्युटरको प्रतिक्षामा छौं जसरी कि भोलि गएर हाम्रा जीर्ण कलेजा र फोक्सो भित्रभित्रै पलाउन संभव पार्ने प्रविधिको प्रतिक्षामा छौं ।

अन्तस्करणले स्वीकारेको यथार्थ र इन्द्रियहरूले भोगेको यथार्थका दुई कुन्यौ बीचको गधाले अनिश्चितताको श्रापबाट मुक्त हुन इच्छाशक्तिको वरदान पनि पाएको छ । दुवै मिठा छन् । दुवैमा सत्यको मात्रा छ र दुवैमा असत्यको मात्रा पनि छ । कुनै पनि ज्ञानको पूर्णता सम्भव नभएको हुँदा सत्यको सापेक्षितताभित्र असत्यको अंश अन्तर्निहित छ नै । म यहाँ तत्थ्यको कुरा गरिरहेको छैन किन भने “पानी तल बग्छ” को पछाडि ‘तल’ र ‘माथि’का प्रश्नले पिरोलिरहेका हुन्छन् र हामी फेरि त्यही सापेक्षिततामा फर्किनु पर्छ जहाँ शाश्वत मानव मस्तिष्कका लागि प्रमाणहीन, काल्पनिक, आस्थाआश्रित दन्त्यकथाको रूपमा मात्र प्रस्तुत हुन्छ । यसै गरी मानव इन्द्रियका लागि ठोस भनी मानिआएको जगत् ठोस् होइन र यथार्थ भनी मानिआएको जगत् भ्रम मात्र हो भने भ्रम नै यथार्थ हो भनी स्वीकार्न हामी बाध्य छौं । यसैले हाम्रो भ्रम नै हाम्रो यथार्थ हो । शायद हाम्रो यथार्थ पनि हाम्रै भ्रम हुन सक्छ । यो पछिल्लो सम्भावनालाई सम्भावनाकै रूपमा रहन दिऊँ । त्यसैले हामीले बढी रोचक कथाले जीवनमा आनन्द भर्नु दुई कुन्यौ बीचको गधाभन्दा अलि फरक बन्नु हो । अरू सम्भावना के छ ? मलाई थाहा छैन ।

२० असार २०७०

Why I Suspended My Facebook for a Week

Last week, I suddenly decided to suspend my Facebook account for a week. I did this to examine myself and the changes in my lifestyle that this suspension would create. Recently, I had found myself spending increasingly more time on Facebook than on more useful activities. So, I just wanted to log out of my Facebook account; but, I ended up by deciding not to open it for a week. This in itself spoke of the degree of Facebook addiction I already suffered from.

Rather than being a tool-based utility such as a computer, which for me is a typewriter cum storage system, digital apps such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and so on are instances of addiction-based technologies. For the last week, I have spent an average of thirty-one minutes a day or three hours and thirty seven minutes a week on Facebook from my cell phone alone. Were I to spend that much time per week in writing an essay, for instance, I would be able to produce four essays a month. It is quite obvious that the creative act of writing an essay engages better human possibilities than passive likes and responses on somebody’s post. This is, of course, a matter of personal priority. Yet, I am very much in the vice-like grip of technology that has waved its magic wand over my head and has turned me into an unthinking commodity of its market for the total amount of time I have spent passively clicking its ready-made likes and emojis. And that is a story of human will-power against Magician Technology.

Magician Technology need not be present “in person” to perform the trick. The eyes of the audience is on the magic wand that circles in the air. That’s what Facebook has done to us. It has charmed us with a virtual reality where iconic likes and loves flatter the naked emperor in us with confirmation of that which is not there. For where is the inviolable criteria with which to judge the sincerity of these likes and loves? And how do I or anyone else know just how sincere or honest the worded comments are? If there is no way to come up with truth, it is also true that manipulation of the user’s psyche along with a storm of misinformation has resulted in the obscurity of our perception of truths and facts. In a face-to-face conversation with a friend, not only his spoken words but his voice, tone, volume, rhythm, tilt of the head, turn of the nose, twinkle of the eyes or even a mere movement of the index would confirm the sincerity of his expressed sentiment. This brings friends closer together. But, we are addicted enough to dismiss one’s life-partner’s query to complete a comment on a virtual screen. Such is the tragedy of modern digital life.

The digital media has also fed us milk diluted with water and most of us are not even in a position to tell the two liquids apart. A couple of days ago, I met a friend of mine during my morning walk. He stopped me, ironically reminded me to keep social distance and vociferated the most recent conspiracy theories regarding COVID-19. His argument boiled down to this: The government is corrupt, he said. Does it have the right to treat people like this? To take away their fundamental right of free movement for so long? The well-placed ones are making money by mistreating people, by locking them inside their houses, and pretending that the corona virus is a big threat to life, whereas it is nothing but just another common cold or flu. Just a bit stronger, he admitted. I tried to explain to him that corruption issues and the corona pandemic issues should be kept apart and understood separately if we wanted to stay safe and healthy. I told him not to forget that this new virus is a reality we all will have to live with. He gave up on my understanding of the situation and bid me good-bye. I could not help recalling the number of Facebook posts that sounded like this friend of mine.

Misinformation is often more appealing to our thirst for stories than information, which lacks the touch of magic. Reality is ever so boring! Something that helps us point an accusatory index at someone else also satisfies our own sense of incompleteness through the discovery of another who is even less complete than we are and also seems to promise something better for the future. But hurled accusations are no seeds of improvement of the human situation. Just how misguided we can become when social media satisfies our soul with downy balls of narratives floating in the air is difficult to say. Perhaps I wanted to get away from all that too.

I feel better after a week of abstinence from Facebook. If I am sufficiently inspired, I may even log out of it and start scribbling thoughts in a copybook in search of a new career. But I also admit that it has been a long week.

 

September 19, 2020.

That Radiant Glow!

         That which once looked radiant in the distance still shines bright. I do not want it to fade into an afterglow for it is the lived discoveries of the world, the felt spell of further possibilities, and the yet unknown which must gradually manifest itself to me that excites me and fills me with a sense of brimming life. It is this almost measurable distance between me and the bright promise of fulfillment that inspires me to continue enjoying my present in the presence of continued hopes for the future. Life is live in the senses, vibrant in expectations, joyous in contacts and communications, agile in the flexibility of dreams, supple in choice and taste, sturdy in desire, fruitful in socialization and celebratory in mood. Free from the rigid ideologies that prosperous ladies and gentlemen of my nation seem to passionately uphold, I have found life unbound by any chains other than those of personal responsibilities which define the tasks I am committed to. At least this is the way I would like to understand my attitude to life.

              However, after an early retirement from the university, the radiance in the distance diminished perceptibly into something of an afterglow that is ever reminiscent of the glorious day. With a few added years of teaching experience in a private college that would not change or grow, I began perceiving the futility of all action that I had read earlier as responsible and committed work for the enhancement of the Humanities through English education in this nation. Unable to buffet against political currents and other malpractices within the academia, I isolated myself from the practice of the crowd that survived better and longer than I did in the educational arena. This was a milestone I had crossed, but to what destination?

              There is a time in most people’s life when opportunities abound. Future is not just tomorrow, it is also next month, next year, next decade and after. The radiance in the distance is full of promise and possibilities. Between the here and the there in time lies a continuum which offers an adventure where treasures are discovered, hearts are lost and found, dreams are fulfilled, conquests are celebrated, friendships are built and sacrifices are made for the common good. And there comes a time in the lives of some people when opportunities diminish and become scarce, when the heart’s rhythm changes, when the physical world moves too fast for the weary limbs and dreams are more frequent than they are fulfilled. It is a time when gradually hair is shed, sight is shed, hearing is shed, strength is shed and friends and members of the family are shed from the tree of life.

              Despite all these shedding, faith in oneself remains constant if one has learned to believe in oneself during the long decades of life. The self-image continues with a happy illusion in its own everlastingness. The world has not ended, it has only changed. Sadly, tight and robust skin tends to perceive all loose and wrinkled skin as traditionally conservative and incapable of progressive and avant-gardist attitudes and behavior. Such perception, by sheer strength of uncomprehending majority, sidelines mellow thought to the rank of vegetative years. This is one tragedy induced on age by an eternally younger society which youthfully gushes along its course necessitated by the contours of renewed wants and needs. However, the tight and robust skin is not free from a similar condition: there is no possibility of real understanding between two individuals; there are only compromises through words and silences. We understand only our own opinion of what another person might be like; understanding the person himself is nothing more than our understanding of our own perception of that person with all our subjective angles and bias. So, the loose-skin circles in a side-pool beside the main current and needs nothing more than an identity of its own, untroubled by the swift, young current. Here it will capture the flashing sun, breathe the forest-filtered air and dream under the starlit sky. To be what one is is the greatest bliss of life.

              This is why retirement has come as a bonus. Each day has an added twelve hours of life’s leisure whence to observe the distant radiance and to smile with contentment at the fact that one is now closer to and, at the same time, approaching such Beauty. To those who think that life is a dream within a dream, the emptiness of the beautiful is like afternoon dew. To those who can appreciate the simple reality of sensual experiences, life remains as rich as ever.

              The future does not shrink like shriveled skin. It dilates instead with decreased distance in relation to the individual who either looks behind with fear or enjoys the huge splashes of approaching time by adventurously looking at it like a mountain river rafter. What is there to lose after all except the fear of loss? If there is nothing to gain either, there is still the satisfaction of having arrived there where life finally bursts into a flame of beauty having used up all its possibilities, having won the goalpost, having shared a game with millions of others who too will one day arrive exactly there. For the time being some are climbing arduous slopes, others are crossing torrents and yet others are preparing for the journey without the faintest idea as to what it will cost them. But then, this is life!

              It is only when the radiant glow begins to dilate over life’s horizon that the slow and lonely fields of leisure comfort the traveler with their vastness and their variety, for the observation of which one did not as yet have time. Go where you will, do what you want to do, cull any flower along the roadside, drink from any fount, and you will always see that radiant glow grow larger, more brilliant and more beautiful than ever. It is what you were actually looking for throughout your life. it is what will ease your weary limbs. It is what will lull you to a final rest from which the puny attitudes of a megalomaniac world will not gnaw your heart awake to undesirable passions and pain. Having now fueled the future with your own life, you may rest in peace beneath that radiant glow which continues drawing others like you with its brilliance.

 

Padma Devkota

March 28, 2012